I know this sounds crazy, but it’s TRUE. My life CHANGED FOREVER thanks to this ONE WEIRD TRICK I used to burn fat and build muscle FAST. I know what you’re thinking—sounds like just another internet fitness scam, right? Wrong. I really did double my body mass in JUST TWO WEEKS, and I don’t understand how I got so big so fast and I’m SCARED.
What a lot of people don’t realize about staying fit is that getting in shape has less to do with how much you eat and more to do with what you eat. This CRAZY FITNESS TIP helped me pinpoint the foods that could give my body the NUTRIENTS it needed to build mass AND definition at a BREAKNECK rate that FRIGHTENED MY DOCTOR! I couldn’t believe how SIMPLE it was!
This INCREDIBLE TRICK also gave me the ENERGY and DRIVE to work out at the gym almost every day. But the crazy thing is, when I used this ONE WEIRD SECRET to work out, I only needed to do three 15-minute workouts a week in order to grow TOO LARGE for my own PARENTS TO RECOGNIZE ME. I think I MIGHT be DYING.
This CRAZY FITNESS TIP helped me pinpoint the foods that could give my body the NUTRIENTS it needed to build mass AND definition at a BREAKNECK rate that FRIGHTENED MY DOCTOR!
And don’t get me started on my SEX life! Ever since I became TOO MUSCULAR TO BREATHE COMFORTABLY, ravenous SWARMS OF WOMEN have been clawing at my SEETHING BULK because the CHISELED DEFINITION of my TWITCHING, ANGRY ABS drives them MAD WITH DESIRE. These WOMEN have turned my life into a LUSTY HELLSCAPE. I live in constant fear of THE WOMEN WHO HUNT ME, and it all happened in just TWO WEEKS!
So DON’T HESITATE. If you want to learn this WEIRD SECRET of how I got TRAGICALLY HUGE, you MUST ACT NOW. There is NO TIME TO WASTE because I don’t know if I’ll be able to SURVIVE MUCH LONGER in my current state. I am literally BURSTING with sinew and EVERY SECOND IS PAIN. Contact me IMMEDIATELY if you want to know how I turned my scrawny body into an OUT OF CONTROL PRISON OF MUSCLE from which DEATH IS THE ONLY ESCAPE.
Please HELP me. Please KILL me.