The X-Men comics have never shied away from their unflinching explorations of how challenging it can be to exist as a mutant in a world full of prejudice and suspicion for people who are different. It’s also never shied away from depicting the struggles that come from being a middle-aged man navigating life post-divorce. Here are four classic X-Men comics where Professor X explains that being a divorced man in your 40s is even more challenging socially than being a mutant.
1. The One Where Professor X Says Killing Sentinels Is Easier Than Making Adult Friends
In this classic issue from 1967, the X-Men must contend with an attack from the lethal robot Sentinels, who are programmed to kill all mutants. When Cyclops explains to Professor X how dangerous the Sentinels are and how difficult they are to destroy, Professor X just rolls his eyes and says, “The only thing harder than killing the Sentinels would be getting them to come to your Super Bowl party if you were a divorced man in your 40s. I really don’t need to listen to you complain considering all the shit I deal with on a daily basis since my marriage ended.” Cyclops then awkwardly apologizes and walks out of the room.
2. The One Where Professor X Says There’s More Social Stigma To Being A Divorced Man Than Being A Mutant
This emotionally devastating issue from 1973 begins with Rogue getting verbally harassed on the street by a group of girls her age after they learn that she’s a mutant. She runs home in tears, and when Professor X sees her crying he says, “Rogue, why are you upset? Did your ex-wife leave you for her piano teacher? Because I cried when that happened to me.” When Rogue explains that she’s faced discrimination for being a mutant, Professor X says, “If you think that’s bad, you should thank God that you’re not a divorced man over 40. People look at you like you have leprosy. I invited this guy Devin to come over and watch the game and he straight-up ghosted me. Probably to spend time with his nervous wife and horrible kids.” Then Professor X leaves the room and doesn’t talk to Rogue for the rest of the issue.
3. The One Where Professor X Tells Wolverine That Going To Divorce Court Is Worse Than Being Imprisoned In A Military Testing Facility
In this beloved story from 1997, Wolverine opens up to Professor X about his devastating past as a human test subject in a top-secret military facility. As Wolverine tells his story of how his captors coated his bones in adamantium through a series of excruciatingly painful medical procedures, Professor X keeps groaning loudly and looking at his watch. When Wolverine has finished his tale, Professor X says, “That sounds annoying, but it’s honestly paradise compared to being in divorce court. Let me ask you this: During your time getting experimented on, did a lawyer ever make you present a list of all your assets, including even your car? Because that’s what happened to me and it was honestly the worst thing that’s happened to any of the X-Men.” Wolverine looks at the floor in shame and apologizes. Professor X spits in his face and leaves the room.
4. The One Where Professor X Kicks The X-Men Out Of His House So He Can Turn It Into A Support Group For Divorced Men
Things changed profoundly for the X-Men crew in this celebrated issue from 2004, which begins with Professor X informing the other mutants that they are no longer welcome in his home, since he will be turning the house into a meeting place for middle-aged divorced men. “Honestly, you freaks have basically zero problems,” Professor X explains to the X-Men as they start packing up their possessions. “You have magic witch powers or whatever it is that makes you weird and strong. You don’t need this house. The people who need this house are divorced men in their 40s, who experience struggles that you cannot possibly imagine.” The rest of the issue is dedicated to Professor X using Cerebro to locate divorced men all over the world so that he can bring them to his mansion. There are 12 pages dedicated to the divorced men playing poker with each other and complaining about their ex-wives before the issue ends. Of the 30 divorced men who appear in the issue, every single one of them says, “I’d rather be an X-Man than an ex-husband” before high-fiving all the other divorced men at least once. Three of the divorced men say this line twice.
