Awkward! Lord Pickley’s Annual Winter Ball was an unabashed Exclamation Fest this year, with several blithe, ribald, crude, and blunt retorts that had Dowager Hearst exclaiming ‘Heavens me!’ all over the place. Here are the rejoinders that made this Winter Ball scandal-tastic!

1. “Why, I wasn’t aware we’d been served any.” —Lord Finch, when asked by Lady Finch if he was enjoying his wine

Oh, snap! Dowager Hearst couldn’t handle overhearing this rather frank criticism of the evening’s libations. She put her hand on her forehead and exclaimed “Heavens me!” like crazy.

2. “I don’t know what I find more old-fashioned: your opinion on this matter or your choice of cravat.” —Young Lady Langshire, discussing the women’s suffrage movement with Count Hampton

Slam! Too bad you were within earshot of this withering quip, Dowager Hearst, because it definitely activated the put-a-hand-on-your-forehead-and-exclaim-“Heavens-me” part of your brain.

3. “Some of us more than others.” —Sir Raymond Birch, implicating the rather inebriated Viscount Upton, upon it being remarked by his footman that the attendees seemed to be enjoying the affair

Yes, Dowager Hearst heard this, and yes, she exclaimed “Heavens me” and fainted into the arms of two stout young valets standing behind her to catch her in case this exact thing happened.

4. “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”— Viscount Upton, in a loud, intoxicated attempt at humour after Sir Raymond Birch discreetly asked whether he had excessively imbibed

DAAAAAAMN! Right as Viscount Upton shouted this whilst sitting upon the grand piano, Dowager Hearst was enjoying champagne with Lord Pickley himself. She exclaimed “Heavens me” and spilled her glass onto Lord Pickley, which caused her to exclaim “Heavens me!” five more times and then briefly die.

5. “Hey, Dowager Countess, two stray dogs got inside and are fucking in the fancy cake you ordered for the occasion.” —Young Master Blevins, telling the Dowager Countess that two stray dogs were fucking in the fancy cake she ordered for this very occasion

Oh, yeah. She def put her hand to her forehead and exclaimed “Heavens me!” after this one.