Your wedding should be the most fun and exciting experience of your whole life. Planning it, however, is a total fucking nightmare. Here are some frustrations that anyone who’s ever planned a wedding will unfortunately understand.
1. The timeless “book a DJ or a bugle boy?” decision: There’s a benefit to each one, but you can’t have both playing music at your reception. Choose wisely!
2. The videographer will be tempted to film a documentary on the history of the venue: The venue you select as the backdrop of your sacred vows will never look better than it does on your big day. And nobody will be more seduced by the temptation to ignore the wedding in favor of shooting a two-part documentary series on the rich history of the location than your own trusted videographer. Be ready to scold him back to task early and often.
3. It’s very easy to mix up the flower girl’s basket of petals with the bug crone’s tub of grubs: If you screw this one up, it’ll be humiliating for both of them on the big day.
4. Agreeing on the perfect first-dance song that mentions both the bride and the groom’s full name and address at some point: So. Annoying.
5. There’s always a guest who asks if they can get married at the wedding too: The guy who begins nudging his fiancée up to the altar immediately after the bride and groom say “I do”? Yeah. There’s one at every wedding.
6. The best man telling you he’ll be alive that weekend only to have him end up being dead: You had one job.