Sandals are great, but there are some occasions when they are just not appropriate. Unless your name is Chris Wedburg, of course. Then, apparently, basic rules of decorum don’t apply to you!
1. Dinner At A Nice Restaurant
If you’re Chris Wedburg, you’re apparently allowed to show up to a group dinner at a fancy restaurant wearing sandals like it’s no big deal. It doesn’t matter how dressed up everyone else is—you do things your own way! Awesome!
2. Orchestra Concert
Most people would feel out of place wearing sandals to an orchestra concert. But then again, if your name is Chris Wedburg, you aren’t most people!
3. Church
Wearing sandals to church might seem a little disrespectful, unless of course you go by the name Chris Wedburg. Then you’re just being your cool, casual, and serially underdressed self no matter where you are! Way to go, Chris!
4. Wedding
Pete and Diane’s wedding invitation specifically asks that all guests wear “formal attire,” but if your name is Chris fucking Wedburg and you just feel like wearing your old flip-flops instead of dress shoes for whatever reason, everyone’s apparently just supposed to deal with it. Wow, it must be so cool to be Chris Wedburg!
5. Funeral
Can’t be bothered to wear anything other than your Velcro Tevas to your best friend’s grandmother’s funeral even though it would sure as hell mean a lot to him if you could get your fucking shit together for once in your goddamn life and look halfway fucking decent for an hour and a half on a Saturday while one of the most important people in his life is laid to rest? Not a problem if you’re Chris Wedburg! A man for whom literally nothing is sacred!
6. Meeting The President
Wow, Chris. Nice.