Press "Enter" to skip to content

6 Signs You Were The Favorite Child

Did your mom and dad love you the most? Even if they’ll never admit it, these six signs will prove that you were 100 percent the favorite child growing up.

1. You were the only kid in your family who knew the nuclear codes: Were you always the one who got to hold the nuclear briefcase, while none of your other siblings did? If so, there’s a good shot you were the golden child in your parents’ eyes! Booyah!

2. Your dad quit his job to stare at you full time: Your brothers and sisters were definitely a little jealous the day your dad came home unemployed and started staring at you expressionless for 24 hours a day, but hey, it’s not your fault he likes you best.

3. Your parents would wake you up in the middle of the night to eat the real dinner: Odds are, if your parents fed your siblings a fake dinner every night and then woke you up later to eat the real one, then you were probably their No. 1. Um, sorry for being amazing, we guess?

4. Your birthday was the password to the lock on the shed where your parents kept your siblings: Jimmy, Jessica, and sometimes Cathy were so peeved that they’d have to enter your birthday into the padlock if they ever wanted to be free. But whatever, just comes with the territory!

5. Your parents told you not to hesitate to eat your brother in a survival situation: Sure, parents might try and treat their kids equally, but when push comes to shove, they’re always going to tell their favorite child to kill and eat their siblings if they’re ever on the brink of starvation while lost in the woods.

6. Your mom has a tattoo of you standing over of pile of your siblings’ bodies: Ugh! Try not to be so obvious, Mom! It might not have been fair, but at the end of the day, you have to admit it ruled being your parents’ favorite. And the good news is: You always will be!