If you’re a java junky or our omnipotent Lord, you know these things all too well.
1. It’s impossible to wake up without coffee: You have to be either a true caffeine fiend or the all-powerful Lord God, whose gaze penetrates all hearts and knows all things, to understand that for coffee addicts, getting stuff done before that first cup is not going to happen.
2. Four words: No. Room. For. Cream: “Should I leave some room for cream?” LOL. No one besides bona fide coffee freaks and the almighty Lord can hope to realize what a pointless question this is to ask a coffee addict. Um, no thanks. Leave it black. Pitch black.
3. There’s no such thing as too much caffeine: Sorry, but unless you’re either the Lord effortlessly peering into the souls of men or a complete and utter coffee maniac, you’ll never understand why the word “overcaffeinated” is such an oxymoron.
4. When the coffee pot runs out at work and the day is ruined: Yup. Coffee fanatics know what we’re talking about. So, too, does God, who is everywhere and with the Eye of Providence watches over all of mankind.
5. Decaf does not count: “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before His eyes” (Hebrews 4:13). Yeah, that’s how you know the Lord is the only one who can sympathize with coffee addicts’ rage at the abomination known as decaf. Other people just don’t get it.
6. Going to bed and looking forward to that first sip of coffee: It’s 11:30 p.m. Time to sleep, but if you’re a coffee lover, you’re already thinking about 7:30 a.m., craving that blissful moment when the cup touches your lips and you drink in the day’s first cup. Other than coffee addicts, who may know such things? Who can explain that feeling? None but the Lord, our everlasting creator. God alone can share in coffee addicts’ lives. He of perfect knowledge, to whom all details are revealed, who remains beside and within each of us, guiding us and protecting us, forever and always. From the smallest grain of sand to the biggest cosmos to totally understanding why a Starbucks gift card is pretty much better than cash to you, nothing is beyond the all-seeing Lord’s comprehension, and from that we take our strength. Amen.