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6 Things You Should Never Say To Someone Dangling You Over A Cliff Demanding The Access Codes

If you crack, it’s all over!

1. “Pull me up, I’ll tell you everything!”

This is the last thing you want to say to someone standing over you while you dangle over the edge of a cliff. Think about it: It’s obviously a transparent ruse, and if you think you stand a chance against him in a fight, think again. You saw what he did to Charlie and Evelyn (oh, God, Evelyn). Even if you somehow got the jump on him, you’re no martial artist—only a particle physicist who works in a lab!

2. “The code is ‘Rising Crescent 99.’”

Don’t just tell him the access codes! Once he has those, it’s practically child’s play to hack into the Titan Array and initiate the Acheron Sequence, and then it’s bye-bye, earth’s atmosphere!

3. “The code is ‘Fertile Pathway 08.’”

Definitely don’t try feeding him a fake access code! Sure, it might temporarily lock down the Titan Array and overload his nano-grafts, but don’t fool yourself. Either you’ll topple together onto the jagged rocks below, or he’ll reset in seconds and tear you apart.

4. “Just kill me! It’s better than living without her!”

You coward. Is this how you’d want Evelyn to remember you? If it’s your time to go, go like a man—but don’t throw your life away while there’s still hope! What about that screwdriver in your lab coat?

5. “Haha! Look behind you, asshole!”

Great news! Agent Duke survived the lab explosion and he’s here to end this once and for all, but don’t get so caught up in the moment that you telegraph his stealthy approach! At least wait until he’s got his gun cocked to throw out a derisive chuckle.

6. “Screw you!”

By all means, while his head’s turned, hop over the ledge and stab him in the neck with your screwdriver, but don’t waste your only opportunity on a so-so one-liner he won’t be alive to remember. Every second counts when you’ve got a doomsday to stop. Now go!