The Child’s Play films are known for their terrifying, often gruesome kill scenes, but Chucky has more tricks up his sleeve than just butcher knives through the throat. Here are six times that instead of murdering someone, Chucky just emailed them to brutally mock their car.
1. Child’s Play
The original Child’s Play film is considered a violent slasher classic, but it contains one scene in which Chucky decides to express his wrath in a less extreme way than taking someone’s life. Towards the end of the film, Chucky uses a toy-sized desktop computer to send an email to a victim named John Tanner, writing, “Helllllo John, you stupid fuck, Chucky the possessed doll herrrre! Saw you drive by yesterday in your Dodge Caravan. Nice wheels, dickhead! You probably didn’t see me because I was hiding inside a mailbox. Did your mommy let you borrow her shitty little grocery getter? Say, John, your Michael Dukakis bumper sticker combined with that maroon paint job really makes that ride look tough! The ladies must just love it when you pull up in that piece of total shit at Kohl’s. Don’t be ashamed of your ride, John. It’s really quite impressive. If you’re a fool! Hahahahahahahah!!” Yikes. Sounds like Chucky is just as capable of using words to hurt as he is knives.
2. Child’s Play 2
In the opening scene to the first sequel in the franchise, the burned remains of Chucky are seen being carefully repaired by an unknown person. As soon as Chucky is good as new, his eyes open and he crawls to the nearest computer to send an email which reads, “Hello, Margaret, Chucky here! The doll that killed your dumb fucking brother! I heard you picked up a new ride recently. Volkswagen Bug, eh? Fucking puke! Looks more like something that I, a toy, should be driving than a person! Did you WANT everyone to laugh at you every time you pull up to a stoplight? Don’t worry, Margaret, I won’t be killing you like I did your brother…You’ve already done that to yourself by getting such a joke of a ride! Way to embarrass your brother in hell!” He then goes on to kill eight people in incredibly graphic scenes of violence and mayhem.
3, 4, and 5. Child’s Play 3
It’s never really made clear why every now and then Chucky choses to just razz someone about their car as opposed to killing them, but he does it three different times in Child’s Play 3.
The first time, Chucky finishes strangling an old man with a yo-yo string before immediately heading to a nearby computer and entering his username ([email protected]) and password (Email123) to log into his email account. He then composes an email to a man named Theodore which can only be described as incredibly hurtful to Theodore’s car. “Hello Theodore. Mind if I call you Theo? Fucking moron! Saw you cruising around in your shitmobile the other day. Can’t believe that rusty pile of dog shit is still on the road! Guess your credit score isn’t good enough to pick up any nicer wheels, eh, Theo? Fuck you!!!!!”
After sending that email, Chucky starts typing another email with the subject line, “YOUR CAR IS A PIECE OF SHIT!” The email’s body reads, “Dear Yugo Driver, Hello! Chucky here. Demonic doll. I’m VERY impressed that your PIECE OF SHIT ride is still on the road after 300 miles. That must be a world record! Who would buy a BRAND NEW Yugo when they could pick up something more reliable like a used Corolla for the same price? Only a MORON like you, I suppose, fucker! Good thing you don’t have kids, because they would SHIT THEIR PANTS and then DIE of embarrassment if you were to pick them up from school in that turd! Here’s hoping you crash that junk heap soon!”
After hitting “send” on that email, Chucky checks his watch, cracks his knuckles, and starts banging out one more email in which he insults someone’s vehicle. Chucky appears to be in a hurry, as this one doesn’t include a subject line, and the body simply reads “I HATE YOUR CAR.”
6. Bride of Chucky
This 1998 sequel doubles up the terror by introducing a second murderous doll, Tiffany, as Chucky’s girlfriend. The pair commit numerous gruesome murders, but only send one email together, which is addressed to someone named Maria. It reads, “Dear Maria, Chucky and Tiffany, homicidal doll couple here. We recently were picking up a couple of axes and knives at Sears and noticed your car. It really stood out with its two missing hubcaps, tailpipe that was dragging on the ground, and a stench of cigarettes we could smell from outside the car. Normally, we prefer to kill people like you, and maybe we still will, but in this case emailing you insults about your car was a more convenient option.” The departure in tone from Chucky’s previous emails suggests that he became much happier after getting into a relationship, which is great, but unfortunately, his cruelty towards people’s rides still stands.
