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Don’t have health insurance? Don’t stress! Sure, conventional wisdom says it’s good to play it safe and be covered in case something happens to you, but here’s the thing: You’re different, and you’ll probably be just fine.
1. You are one of those special people who will never feel pain in your life! As everyone knows, about one in every 20 Americans is entirely impervious to suffering forever and ever, and lucky you, you’re one of them.
2. You actually have no immune system, so diseases can’t exist in your body. Way to win the genetic lottery!
3. You just got a standing desk at work, and as we’ve all heard over and over again, those pretty much solve everything.
4. You took a multivitamin every morning from May 1998 to March 1999 before kinda just forgetting and trailing off. You’re practically invincible.
5. You have befriended an eccentric veterinarian who has an endless fascination with pushing the limits of human biology and a complete disregard for the rules. In fact, you’re such good friends now that he would cancel on any puppy patient of his just for a chance to check out the infection around your dolphin fins.
6. You once stuck a vacuum hose down your throat and sucked all that bad disease out. Nice!
7. Health insurance is genetic. If your parents didn’t have it, it’s statistically very likely that you won’t need it. Awesome!
Luck is not a health plan. It’s time to get real, quality health coverage you can actually afford with GetCovered Illinois.
