Isn’t teenage life hard enough without metal all over your mouth?

1. Being legally required to go door-to-door to tell everyone in your neighborhood that you have braces

2. Not being able to trade teeth with your friends whenever you want

3. CONSTANTLY slicing your tongue off

4. Being taken from your parents and having to live in the Braces’ Home

5. Watching tiny trains use your braces as railroads to run back and forth across your teeth

6. Having James Bond star Roger Moore come to your house every morning to tell you the character of Jaws in The Spy Who Loved Me was based on you

7. Not being able to drag your mouth on the ground without making an awful screeching sound