One undeniable fact about life is that some people are alive while other people are dead. Some people you might think are dead are actually alive, such as Dick Van Dyke. However, most of the people you think are dead are in fact deceased. Here are some of those people.
1. Bob Hope
Bob Hope was starring in movies way back during the Great Depression, so it’s safe to assume that he is completely dead now. He looked old even when he was in black-and-white movies, so yeah, he’s a corpse for sure. You don’t even have to bother with Googling “is bob hope alive” to answer this one. It’s just simple math, really—BEING OLD DURING THE 30s + OVER 90 YEARS LAPSED TIME = BOB HOPE IS DEFINITELY DEAD.
Napoleon is absolutely a dead person, and you don’t even need to know much about the guy to arrive at that conclusion. There are three things everyone knows about Napoleon: he’s French, he’s short, and he’s dead. And that is his legacy.
3. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
Nope, Jackie O isn’t still out there crawling around like an alive person and doing alive-people stuff. She’s totally dead, just like her husband, JFK, and nearly every other member of the Kennedy family. Deep down, you 100 percent know the undeniable truth about Jackie O that she is the complete opposite of being alive. You have accurately assessed the situation.
4. Amelia Earhart
Yep, Amelia Earhart went right ahead and died. That’s why when people picture her, they don’t picture a very old woman trying to find a place to land an airplane, they picture a sun-bleached skeleton wearing an old-timey aviator helmet washed up on a beach somewhere. Oh, and her airplane is dead, too.
Prince is a dead man! Yep, no matter how upbeat and catchy his songs are, there’s no denying the reality that the man is no longer capable of breathing or performing any other biological functions reserved for the living. There was a time not that long ago when everything was fine and Prince was still alive, but using various context clues, you have keenly determined that this is no longer the case.
6. George Michael
You got it, George is very, very dead, and you can print that fact on a baseball cap and confidently wear it out in public without fear that someone will dispute it, as his death has been widely confirmed by numerous news outlets as well as Wikipedia.
7. Maya Angelou
Here’s some information about Maya Angelou: Like most famous poets, she is dead. She wasn’t dead in 2013, but now she is, and from these facts we can deduce that she is indeed not alive anymore. It would be pretty cool if at some point she writes a poem vividly describing the experience of being dead—perhaps called something like “How It Feels To Be A Ghoul”—but alas, it’d be foolish to hope for such a thing, as she is almost certainly too dead to write poems now. But who knows, maybe she will surprise us!
8. Babe Ruth
That’s right, one of the greatest sluggers of all time is also one of the deadest sluggers of all time, and you don’t have to be a baseball buff to know this. You can feel confident in saying “Babe Ruth is dead” to strangers on the street, as all existing data supports this claim, and there are even photographs of his corpse that you can easily summon as proof if you search “babe ruth funeral” on Google Images. The man is dead as a doornail, and good on you for being perceptive enough to recognize this.