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8 Things Every Only Child Is Tired Of Hearing

How about giving just a LITTLE thought before opening your mouth?


1. “Did your parents forget about sex?”


2. “I’d be an only child if it weren’t for Randal. Do you know Randal?”


3. “There’s nothing better than drinking stolen pool water out of a tin bucket with your siblings, a pleasure that you shall never know.”


4. “But if you sled down a hill and into a frozen river and the ice breaks and you fall in, who saves you?”


5. “I am sorry you never got to have the experience where a sibling tells you what their favorite planet is.”


6. “Allow me to define solo for you. Solo: For or done by one person alone; unaccompanied. Synonyms include solitary; single-handed; companionless; unescorted; unattended; unchaperoned; independent; alone; on one’s own; by oneself. Solo used in a sentence? ‘Tomorrow, I am going on a solo trip to the Alamo.’”


7. “Ah! Another sibling-free idiot for my museum of lonely monsters!”


8. “So, if you found a ham hock in the couch, you didn’t have to fistfight anyone to see who got to gnaw on it?”