Hey boys! Stop swirlin’ those empty lassos around in the air and snag yourself a thick slab of yours truly. Patricia here, and I’m finally all healed up from my surgery and ready to get a little rowdy! Here are some hunky ranch hands who could definitely use a little Patricia in their lassos.
1. Jeremyah
Ohhhh, Jeremyah! Why are you out there on the range wranglin’ all those cattle when Patricia’s got all the Grade-A beef you need right here? Get over here, cowboy, and toss that braided rope around these creamy hips and reel Patricia in like a trophy marlin. I promise you won’t regret it!
2. Thant
Poor Thant has been working so hard all day shootin’ pesky coyotes and pounding in fenceposts with his rough, sexy hands. Now he really needs to unwind by letting ol’ Patricia rub his sore feet and draw him a nice, hot, relaxing bath—heck, if he gets lucky, I might even join him in there! Call me when you’re ready, honey.
3. Rogger
Patricia was born to giddy up, giddy down, and giddy Rogger all over town! Take off your boots and hang that cowboy hat on Patricia’s nightstand, ’cause Momma’s got 4,000 acres of soft, fertile pasture for Rogger to roam all night long!
4. Dyllyn
Some women might be turned off by a sweaty, stinky, hard-working cattleman like Dyllyn here, but give me one good whiff of that manly musk and my trough’s overflowing. Thirsty, Dyllyn? Come over to Patricia and slurp me up.
5. Arnaldo
Like a wild stallion, Patricia needs the right combination of discipline and gentleness to be tamed. Think you’ve got what it takes, Arnaldo? Because this bronco is ready to be busted, and you can dig your spurs in my sides any day of the week. Yeehaw!
6. Brenton
Let’s see if Brenton can last riding this bull for longer than eight seconds! Don’t be shy, boys. Patricia’s not afraid of a little rope burn, so go ahead and lasso me up like a hog and make me squeal. I’ve got plenty of meat to go around!
