Motherhood is exhausting, and moms, especially new ones, need to get their rest in whenever they can. That’s why these six times Mom stayed up late just to watch you sleep and smoke a little angel dust are so precious.
1. When she brought you home from the hospital and stayed up late gazing at your sweet little angel face while puffing some sweet angel dust
You and Mom have had your ups and downs, but despite your rocky relationship, the truth is she has always loved you very much. The first night she brought you home from the hospital, despite being dead tired from her 17-hour labor, she stayed up just to marvel at your chubby little legs and rosy cheeks while getting absolutely wrecked on dust. Adorable.
2. When you were having nightmares, so she stayed up to comfort you in your sleep while hallucinating that your screaming head was ten times as big due to all the fry she was smoking
Mom always wanted to protect you from any discomfort at all, so she would occasionally stay up to keep an eye on you, whether it was because you were having nightmares, because she believed your head to be the size of a refrigerator due to her PCP use, or both. There may not be any photos of these precious moments to document them, but they live on in the story of your mother’s lifelong love, and also in her occasional flashbacks.
3. When you fell asleep on the couch and she didn’t want to wake you up, so she stayed there until 3 a.m. ripping hit after hit of that supergrass while the static on the TV came to life and made love to her
Sometimes it was hard to get you down to sleep, so when you did doze off Mom was hesitant to move you, and she would often sacrifice her own sleep for yours. One late night, as she was keeping an eye on you on the couch and roasting that wet wet, the static she was watching on the TV formed into a glowing, hissing being which made love to her right then and there. It was a magical moment for so many reasons.
4. When she rocked you for hours in your crib because it looked like it was gradually opening a portal to another dimension
A parent’s love isn’t always a visible thing. Much of it is expressed in quiet, unassuming moments, like when Mom rocked your crib for hours with a dust joint hanging out of her mouth because it appeared to her, in her altered state of consciousness, that the crib’s movements were opening a crack in the ground whose soft glow was beckoning her into another dimension. These tender memories may not show up in a scrapbook the way birthday parties and trips to Disney World do, but they are just as important.
5. When she stayed up all night watching you because she thought you were a giant space larva sent by God to kill her
For a mother to spend hours alone in a dark house simply gazing at what appears to her to be a pulsating space larva that is preparing to hatch into an interplanetary assassin bug, it takes pure, unadulterated love, and a healthy helping of PCP. When Mom did this, her eyes were bugging out of her head, her fingernails were drawing blood on her palms, and her heart was full. It’s impossible to understand how beautiful experiences like these can be if you’re not a parent and you’ve never tried smoking angel dust.
6. When she snuck in to watch you sleep the eve of your 13th birthday, realizing this would probably be the last time she would do so and that she should probably seek treatment for her drug use after one last bowl of PCP
They say that a parent never realizes it when it’s the final time they tuck their child in, or read to them, or kiss them goodnight, or smoke PCP. But when Mom cracked open the door of your room on the eve of your 13th birthday, she knew it was probably the last time she’d be able to watch her precious child sleep while smoking a big pinch of rocket fuel. Not only were you getting too old for such doting behavior, but her angel dust use had cost her her job, her home, and her health. But a new phase of parenting and drug rehabilitation isn’t inherently a bad thing. Every good thing must come to an end, and all you can do is try to replace it with something even better—but Mom’s nostalgia for the times she would watch you sleep and smoke angel dust will linger in her mind forever.
