Sound familiar?

1. Your family said grace before every meal, but very sarcastically.

2. You always skipped Sundays.

3. Your parents freaked out whenever you got stigmata.

4. When other kids were getting Christmas trees for their birthdays, you inevitably ended up with one of these:

5. Your dog was uncircumcised.

6. Richard Dawkins had a key to your garage, and sometimes you’d go in there and he’d be taking a nap or eating popcorn from an unmarked bag.

7. A common thing that would happen in your house is that your dad would say, “I don’t believe God exists” in the morning, and then later that night your mom would leave your dad a note that read “Dear husband, I agree with what you said earlier about God not existing. It is correct.”

8. When you were growing up, your parents never once took you down to the God cave to feed the Lord monster old newspapers.

9. Your parents never let you hang out with the pope.

10. You still don’t believe in jacuzzis.