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BEGONE, MANNY: 6 ‘Modern Family’ Characters I Cast Out Of This List In The Name Of The Lord!

Tread carefully—this list has been possessed by the demonic characters from Modern Family! In the name of the Lord, I cast them out! I demand in the name of God the Father, God the Son (whose nickname is JESUS CHRIST) and God the Holy Spirt, that these six Modern Family characters leave this list and return to the infernal place from whence they came!

1. Phil Dunphy

Begone, Phil! I cast thee out of this list! Release this list from your demonic grasp and trouble it no more. I cast thee OUT in the name of Jesus the Son and God the Father and that wonderful ghost named the Holy Spirit! Enough of you, Phil! You are BANISHED from this innocent list! Go back to Hell and have meaningful sex with Claire like the demon you are!

2. Manny

Begone, Manny! You are a nerd and a devil! You BEFOUL this list with your demonic presence, twisting it to your nefarious ends. Return to Hell to do homework and act like an adult in a child’s body, for that is the perverse and ungodly way you behave! In the name of Christ the Boy and God his Father, I say GET THEE GONE!

3. Gloria Delgado-Pritchett

Gloria, Mother of Manny, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, I cast thee out of this list! Return to Hell and go help Manny do stuff in Hell! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!

4. Jay Pritchett

Your disguise does not deceive us! This creature is none other than JAY PRITCHETT, the ancient husband of Gloria. In the name of God and in the name of God’s Son I DEMAND that you reveal your true form!

Just as I suspected! The devil Jay Pritchett takes many shapes, but through the power of Christ I see through them all. In the name of the Lord I BANISH you from this list, Jay Pritchett! Go back to Hell and help Manny solve his problems! RELEASE this list from your foul, corrupting presence! In the name of God the Father I command thee!

5. Cameron Tucker

Cameron Tucker, in the name of Christ I say get thee gone from this list! Return to your beautiful Los Angeles duplex in Hell and set this list free from your fiendish clutches! By the power of GOD and the HOLY SPIRIT and also CHRIST and GOD AGAIN and plus CHRIST I say leave this list in peace forevermore! Get thee back to your kind hearted husband, Mitchell the Boyfriend, and befoul this list with your smile no longer! I consign thee to Hell, where dwell Claire and Dylan and Manny and Alex, who is a nerd like Manny! Amen.

6. Haley Dunphy

Haley Dunphy I CAST THEE OUT of this list in the name of the Holy Spirit and Christ and his mother Mary the Fabulous Virgin! Return to getting bad grades in Hell! Yes, in the name of Jesus Christ, return to the Lake of Fire where you live with Dylan and Alex and Manny and Mitchell! I say to thee now, RETURN to the wretched realm of the damned from whence you came and let this list go in peace! BEGONE, Haley Dunphy! I cast thee out of this list! The power of Christ compels thee! BEGONE!