Owning a house can be a great source of pride, but it also can be a major headache. Here are 6 common household problems that, sorry to say, nothing can be done about.
1. Clogged toilets
How many times has this happened to you? You attempt to flush the toilet, but nothing happens. You flush it again and again until dirty water is overflowing everywhere in your bathroom and leaking down into the living room below. You cry for help, but no one comes. You might assume there would be a way to remove the clog or even replace the faulty toilet with a brand new one, but the sad reality is, you’re fucked. Hope you bought a home with more than one bathroom, otherwise you’re going to be going in the sink from now on.
Weeds: How can a living thing be so incredibly unattractive? They stink, they’re ugly, and if we could read their minds, we’d probably learn that they’re stupid as well. The worst part is, once weeds grow in your lawn, they’re there to stay. All you can really do about it is put up a sign on your lawn that says, “Please do not look at my weeds,” or move. And let’s face it, it’s incredibly difficult to do either of those things. You’re stuck with those weeds forever.
3. Strong odors
Odors can have many sources, from rotting food to mold growing inside walls to dead rodents to pet accidents. But no matter what the cause, there’s no solution to a reeking house outside of getting used to the gross-ass smell of your disgusting house. Smells are impossible to change, and they never go away, so if you smell something bad right now, you’re going to smell it forever. This is what you signed up for when you bought a house.
4. A leaky roof
It’s 3 am and there’s a thunderstorm raging outside. You are awakened by a dripping sound, faint at first, but then growing louder and faster. You rush out of bed and find that freezing cold water is dripping down through your ceiling directly onto your newborn son, your only child, and he’s crying…CRYING for someone, anyone to save him. But it’s impossible. Your roof has a leak, and once a leak is formed, it will leak eternity, the hole rotting larger and larger, eventually collapsing your roof altogether. Scientists believe there will one day be a way to fix a leaking roof, but currently their best suggestion for this situation is to seal up the room with the leak for the rest of your life and never go in there again. Perhaps you should have just built your house in the ocean, because it would basically be the same. If your house has a leak, it’s only a matter of time before you live underwater, and there’s sadly no way to address the problem.
Once a house catches on fire, that’s just the way it’s going to be from now on. You can complain about it, you can scream your head off crying for help, you can tell your house to stop being on fire, but the faster you adjust to your new fiery living space the better. You paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for this house, and you might as well enjoy it, burning or not, because there ain’t shit you can do about a house being on fire. You can call the fire department, but all they would do is look at your house, say, “Yep, that house is on fire,” and drive away. Better get yourself some shorts and upgrade your AC, because things are going to be hot in your house from now on.
6. Rodent and insect infestations
Rats, mice, snakes, salamanders, spiders, raccoons, and pigeons all need houses too, so once they move into yours, they’re there for good. You could try to kill the unwelcome guests, but federal United States law stipulates that once a wild animal is inside a human’s house, it’s legally a human, so if you kill any insects or rodents infesting your home you are technically committing murder. Better to accept it now: Your new roommates are here to stay, so you might as well start naming them, making beds for them, and putting out a little salamander chow. The animals live with you now, and there is no solution to this problem.