Ever since you first had access to the internet, you have spent untold hours clicking—on Google search results, on social media profiles, on pornographic videos, on whatever you could reach with your little cursor. You have clicked on countless things, and all those years of navigating the web have finally brought you here: to this one page, to this one moment. To this mango.
Here is the mango. Here is the literal fruit of your long and winding journey through the World Wide Web!
There was a day, many many years ago now, when you made contact with the Internet for the very first time. You may have watched a 3D animation of a dancing baby on AOL, or gawked at the crude penis drawings on PerezHilton late one night at a sleepover, or dug up a shocking post from a popular kid’s Myspace where they claimed to have had sex in the stairwell by the gym at school. Whatever it was, you set off a powerful butterfly effect in that moment which has led you day by day, year by year, to this very url on ClickHole.com, where an image called “Mango isolated on a white background stock photo” was waiting for you. There is no way you could have fathomed, back when you were joining a Facebook group called “I Will Go Slightly Out of My Way To Step On A Crunchy-Looking Leaf,” that your action at that time would lead, one day in the distant future, to this mango. But the tiniest “refresh” or “close tab” can have a grand effect on our sensitive and chaotic universe, and it was those very clicks and retweets and prank calls on Omegle that resulted in the juicy stone fruit you see before you now.
Savor this moment. It tells a story only you could have written. From MSN Messenger to Mozilla Firefox to Snapchat, and finally to https://clickhole.com/everything-youve-ever-clicked-on-has-led-you-to-this-moment-one-mango. This is the legend of You.
Given the untold trillions of pages on the internet you could’ve ended up on today, the statistical improbability of you navigating to this URL is so staggering, so beyond what the human mind can fathom, that it can really only be understood as fate. Had you not spent one fateful afternoon in 2005 perusing the surprisingly sexual black-and-white drawings of crying girls in eyeliner on your weird school friend’s Deviantart, you may never have been convinced to set up a Deviantart of your own, setting off a cascading chain of social media accounts from Xanga to Myspace to Twitter itself, the algorithms of each functioning Rube Goldberg-like to ultimately deliver you right here, today, to this very mango article. No matter how hard you try to retreat backwards through the never-ending kaleidoscope that is your web history, there can be no knowing whether it was the 34th time you watched “Numa Numa,” or the time you used ThePirateBay to torrent The Dark Night Rises, or even the “Covid symptoms diarrhea” Google search you made this very week that created the conditions necessary for you to not only see the link to this mango article, but to click on it. Was it a coworker’s retweet of an article from The Onion that led Twitter to suggest you follow ClickHole, which eventually led you here? Or the fact that a distant ex faved the Instagram post promoting this article? Or even maybe some bug in your browser that inadvertently resulted in you seeing this article when by all means you should have never laid eyes on it? There is no way of knowing. It is a mystery that will remain a mystery; to try to grasp it would be a fool’s errand.
Where the internet will take you after this mango remains in doubt, but one thing is for sure: You are here, you are clicking, and your clicks matter. They matter more than you’ll ever know. Go forth into the Internet and click with abandon, brave cyber traveler. Follow the river wherever it flows. You’ll only know your destination once you’ve arrived.
