Hey, what’s up shitheads? Here is our list of the Best TV Shows Ever. The first thing you’ll notice is that right up top in the number one slot is Family Guy, which we’re ranking as the best show of all time. The second thing you’ll notice is if that despite there being SIX shows on the list, NONE of them are The Sopranos, a stupid-ass show that only idiots like. If you don’t like these ratings, fuck you. Why don’t you come blow up our office? Well, joke’s on you, dipshits! We’re working from home right now due to the pandemic. Good luck killing us now! So, without further ado, here is our list of the BEST TV shows EVER.
1. Family Guy
Yep, we’re saying it: Family Guy is the best TV show of all time, bar none. No TV show in history is as laugh-out-loud amazing as Family Guy. The show’s creator, Seth MacFarlane, is a genius and his talent shines through in every episode of the universally-adored show. Peter, Lois, Meg, Brian, and Stewie are like family to anyone who has ever been enchanted by this masterpiece of television. Family Guy took the formula of the deeply flawed, underwhelming Simpsons and actually did something good with it. If reading that pisses you off, we invite you to come murder us. Seriously, come put a bomb in our offices and blow us all sky high! Oh wait, you can’t! We’re all working from home, motherfuckers! Family Guy, the best show there ever has been. Fuck you.
2. Deadwood/South Park
Deadwood and South Park are equally good shows, so they’re tied on our list as the second-best shows of all time. It’s honestly pretty incredible that a show as good as Deadwood came from HBO, the subpar network that gave us mediocre drivel like The Sopranos. South Park and Deadwood are both perfect shows to watch if you’ve already watched Family Guy a few times or if your Family Guy DVDs got stolen. If you find these statements objectionable, you are welcome to come kill us, but guess what, assholes? You’ll have to find us first! Our office is completely deserted! We’re gonna go ahead and say that South Park is every bit as good as Deadwood, and there’s not a single fucking thing you can do about it!
Remember that show Wings? It took place in an airport. We remember thinking it was pretty fun when we were kids, so here it is. We’re the ones with the website, so we get to make the definitive rankings of the best shows ever. We don’t need to dwell on all the specifics of exactly why this show is so great here, but we do need to make it clear that any attempt to blow up our office will fail in killing us off because we aren’t there. If you’re lucky you might kill the fish in our office fish tank, and then you’d really look like a dumbfuck, because our fish had nothing to do with our choices for this list.
4. Family Guy AGAIN
Boom! FUCK YOU. Family Guy made it to this list of the best shows of all time twice, motherfuckers! Eat our steaming shit on a plate! Bet you really wish we were working in the office so you could mail us a pipe bomb and send us all to Hell now that we’ve listed Family Guy as both the first and fourth best TV show of all time! But nope, still working from home, still totally safe from explosives of any kind. We’d just like to point out we could have used this slot for The Sopranos, The Wire, Breaking Bad, Six Feet Under…countless other shows that we know you dipshits love, but instead chose to just list Family Guy for a second time, and everyone on our staff agreed with the move wholeheartedly. It’s just that good! We’d also like to reiterate that there is no way you can blow us up, because we are at home. Suck our asses!
5. The “Gangnam Style” Music Video
That’s right, everybody! We’re putting the “Gangnam Style” music video on our list of the best TV shows of all time. This is the kind of shit you can pull when you have the absolute power of writing your own website! You can yell and scream all you want, but at the end of the day, we have the authority to say that this 4-minute clip of Psy doing an obnoxious dance is a better television show than Fleabag and The Americans combined! You’re powerless to do anything about it! We are scattered all over the place! It would take forever to track us all down and kill us individually, and we’re not going to be back in our office for months (AT LEAST)! So just sit there with your impotent rage, idiots. The “Gangnam Style” video is the fifth-best TV show of all time. It’s official and permanent.
6. American Dad
Another classic! Bet you were really hoping that we’d change our minds and end up throwing The Sopranos on here and the whole “no Sopranos” thing was just a prank, but nope. We’re really not going to include it. We just don’t think it’s as good as Family Guy. It’s not even as good as American Dad. Just try to blow up our office, idiots. We’re not even there.