Look at how fiercely these flamingos are protecting their nasty-ass eggs. Are they under the impression we want that shit? Uh…we’re good. These six birds have serious main character syndrome if they think their nests are anywhere on our mind!
It’s crazy to know we’re living in this random flamingo’s head rent free, ‘cause we don’t think about this bird or its egg…ever. Like, ever. The type of eggs we want are far, far superior to a flamingo egg. What makes her think we’re so desperate that we’d want hers?! What makes her egg so special and different that she needs to stand over it all day? Seek help, flamingo. Your insecurities are showing!
Flamingo…do you seriously not have anything better to do than hover over an egg that is not tempting us whatsoever?! We promise you, we are not even a tiny bit curious about it. We literally know what’s inside, and what’s inside gets a hard pass from us. It has never once crossed our minds to want your egg until you became so paranoid about us wanting it. Honestly? You’re kind of making us want to want your egg just to mess with you. Relax.
Not once in our life have we expressed any want for this flamingo’s egg, or any flamingo’s egg, for that matter. We get eggs we want from the store, like everyone else in the world. So why, all the sudden, is this bird convinced we need its egg?! Is there a flamingo-egg-desiring-type rumor about us going around, or is this as unhinged as it seems? You’re acting insane right now, flamingo. No, like…actually insane.
…alright, we admit it, this flamingo’s egg is actually really, really nice. If we absolutely had to want a flamingo egg, it’d be this one. We get why you’d worry about us wanting that egg, flamingo, but you can chill out. We still do not want it. Mainly because we don’t need any of the other flamingos on this list flipping out and saying “I told you so” after seeing us want your egg. Your egg is not worth the drama.
Somebody who looked like us must have wanted this flamingo’s egg before, because the only explanation for this flamingo’s hyper-defensive behavior is that it’s rooted in trauma. Or maybe this flamingo trying to pull some reverse psychology and actually wants to offload its gross egg on us? No. That can’t be it. The simple truth is that this flamingo is either full of itself or needs therapy. Or both.
What’s crazy is that this flamingo’s not even taking good care of its egg! Keeping it out in the sun all day and night in a dirty filthy nest you’ve clearly never cleaned is a good way to make NO ONE want your egg, flamingo. Last time we’ll say it: we do not want your egg, and we never will. Get over yourself!
