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Go Ahead, Treat Yourself To Some Saccharine Dogshit. You’ve Earned It.

Take a load off! You work hard! Enjoy this bullshit!

Meet Mary. She’s a single mom who also runs a local soup kitchen AND an animal shelter. Plus, she raised over $10,000 for her neighbor who needed an expensive life-saving surgery. Heartwarming, right? Go ahead and lap this shit up—there’s nothing wrong with that. You earned this.

This sugar-sweet crap pile is probably doing it for you, right? Don’t feel guilty about enjoying it. You’re the kind of person who likes this shit, right?

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Listen: You’ve had a rough day. You’ve probably answered a few emails and maybe someone bumped into you on the bus. So you totally deserve this flowery affirmation. Just look at this GIF of a soldier reuniting with his dog. Watch it 100 times. Wring every drop of sweetness out of it before you move on. Let all thoughts melt from your brain.

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Hopefully by now you don’t have even one bad thought in your head thanks to this adorable little hedgehog. It has died since this photo was taken, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that this picture is adorbs!

Oh, yeah. You love bullshit like this.

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Don’t you for a second think that you need any content that will challenge you or occupy a gray area of any kind. Look at this inspirational picture and do not break its gaze. The longer you look at this triumph of humanity and not think about anything but the pixels you see in front of you, the happier you will be. Remember: You work hard and you deserve this feeling. You deserve to look at this saccharine horseshit 24/7, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

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Sure, some people have to work three jobs and raise entire families below the poverty line, but you work hard too, at your desk job, so give yourself a break from lazily entering data into a Google Doc. Lose yourself in this meaningless, delightful content.

Let every meaningful thought leave your mind as you learn this dog was saved from a shelter. There we go. Kick out the real thoughts, and let in this syrupy shit. Your life is hard. You deserve a break. Let it wash over you. There. That’s good. Don’t resist it. You deserve it. You are good. There, there. You are safe. Become this. This is who you are.