Press "Enter" to skip to content

I Don’t Know Why Instagram’s Been Showing Me Ads For Bras Designed For Small Busts…But I’m Not Complaining! (by Cory Booker)

Hello! Senator Cory Booker (D-N.J.) here. Whenever I’m not busy representing my constituents in Congress, I’m on my very favorite social media app: Instagram. My Instagram feed is largely composed of content from political colleagues, news organizations, and even the occasional comedian (Senators like to laugh too, and boy, does Aziz Ansari crack me up!). Recently, however, a post that was not exactly, well, G-rated, found its way onto my feed. This was a sponsored post from a company called Pepper, featuring an absolutely beautiful, modestly chested woman showing off her new brassiere…which was all she wore from the waist up! “Well, this is quite the advertisement,” I quipped to myself—not realizing that Instagram was going to put this advertisement onto my feed six more times that very same day!

Hey…I don’t know why Instagram’s been showing me ads for bras designed for small busts…but I’m not complaining!

When I first came across this advertisement while scrolling my Instagram feed to pass time on an Amtrak ride from Newark to D.C., my heart skipped a beat: “SMALL BOOBIE GIRLIES PSA,” read the bold text over footage of a drop dead gorgeous small-breasted woman, who was turning about to present her flattering new bra to the camera (it fit perfectly). I gasped. My eyes went wide. I looked over my shoulder several times to make sure no one in my Amtrak car was looking before I set out to investigate how the heck an ad like this ended up on my feed! “Surely, Instagram’s algorithm is mistaken…?” I thought aloud as I tapped into the ad, perusing @WearPepper’s official brand account for any mention of “New Jersey,” “Congress,” or “Iranian sanctions”—subjects that align with my interests, and could explain why Instagram chose to show me this advertisement. I found nothing of the sort on Pepper’s account. Only brassieres specifically designed for the petite-bosomed, and that’s it—nothing political whatsoever!

Well, I guess merely interacting with the advertisement was enough for Insatgram’s algorithm to assume that it was correct in targeting me with it, and lo and behold, these, hrmm…eye-catching promotions are just about all I see anymore! I may not be in the market for bras tailored to fit women of a slighter figure (not at the present moment, at least), but you’d likely think otherwise judging by my Instagram feed! I spent the rest of my Amtrak journey wondering aloud (in hushed tones, of course, so as not to disturb my fellow passengers), “Why me? Why Cory Booker? Is Pepper’s decision to pay Instagram to put photos of stunning, humbly endowed underwear models on my feed simply a perk of being a feminist-identifying, unmarried public figure?” I had to know the answer!

So, as I came across my fourth Pepper ad (featuring yet another one of the prettiest women I’ve ever seen in my life), I tapped the “Why you’re seeing this ad” option to get the bottom of this strange—but sensational—user experience I was having. And do you know what Instagram said? They said it’s because “Pepper wants to reach people like you, who may have: 1) communicated in English 2) an age of 18 or older 3) a primary location in the United States.” Check. Check. Check. Senator Booker fits the bill, and that’s a-okay by me! That’s more than a-okay! In the end, these highly attractive, waifishly busted models were right where Pepper intended them to be: on Senator Cory Booker’s Instagram feed!

Let’s just say this: before these ads for AA, A, and B-cup bras began appearing to me? I was clocking about 1.5 hours a day on Instagram. Now? Well…I’m putting in overtime! To the point that my phone has overheated several times this morning, in fact!

If any @WearPepper ambassadors, marketing creatives, or social media directors are reading this, I’d like to thank you for sharing your incredible advertisements with me. Your products are a wonderful, thoughtful option for the small-breasted women of our country. If I ever date a woman with small breasts—or, a “small boobie girlie“, if you will (ha!)—I will absolutely consider recommending, if not gifting, your products to my slender-chested partner. In the meantime, keep those advertisements coming, Pepper! You will not be hearing any objections from Senator Booker (D-N.J.)—not one!