Rapper
I am Kanye West. But you already know that. You know who I am, and you know what I’ve done. You know that I am the most impactful creative individual on the fucking planet. I’ve reinvented the rap game more times than I can count. I am Warhol, I am Shakespeare, I am Tesla, I am Disney. I am light years beyond everybody else, and everybody knows that.
But today, I’m getting ready to change the game again.
Because starting today, I’m none of the shit you thought you knew. From now on, I am a forklift. Not a forklift operator, not a forklift designer. I am a forklift—the greatest motherfucking forklift of all time. You might not understand it yet, but that’s not because you’re not supposed to. You can’t tell me how I’m supposed to give you my art. When Kanye West does something, it goes beyond the existing reach of human understanding.
Which is why no one else in the entire fucking universe is putting as much passion and genius into lifting pallets and shipping containers and moving them short distances as me. I am the Adam and I am the Eve of the forklift game. Nobody else has this center of gravity, this next-level turning radius. Just like when I dropped Yeezus last year and rewrote the rules of art, I am now transporting boxes with greater vision and maneuverability than any man or machine in history.
I am a forklift—the greatest motherfucking forklift of all time.
You see, no one out there has the fucking courage or originality to become a forklift. When’s the last time you saw any forklifts at the VMAs? When’s the last time you saw Drake navigating narrow aisles with 16 crates of strawberries stacked on his arms? Never. Steve Jobs never transformed the efficiency of warehouse inventory storage like I have. It’s only me!
Being a vending machine? Nope. Getting surgery to become a huge bell? Not even close. Because there’s no vending machine or bell that’s got the omnidirectional versatility or the articulated counterbalance that I do. You hear all these rappers rapping about moving stacks, well I’m literally moving stacks, motherfuckers! Next time you think about the greats in history—Malcolm, Du Bois, King, Gandhi, the Caterpillar V40b Lp industrial forklift—they were all just paving the way for this very shit I’m doing now! I didn’t choose to be here; history chose me.
I’ve changed the face of music. Now, I’m going to change the industrial material transport game. I’m a forklift. The greatest forklift of all time.
