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Innovation FTW: Tampax Has Unveiled A New Line Of Extra-Dry Tampons That Employees Won’t Steal From Office Bathrooms

It’s no secret that Tampax is crushing it in the period game, but today, they may have officially outdone themselves. The company just released its most innovative product yet: a new line of extra-dry tampons that people won’t steal from office bathrooms!

Uh, Playtex, take a seat. There’s a new sheriff in town.

The new line of extra-dry tampons, called Tampax Sand, are reportedly so uncomfortable that no woman—no matter how cheap she is—would ever steal a handful of them from the complimentary basket in her company’s bathroom. According to the company, the tampons have a cardboard-like texture and almost no absorbency, keeping your bulk orders safe and your supply closet stocked.

Wow, looks like someone at Tampax deserves a raise!

“When you buy Tampax Sand, we promise all those extra-dry tampons will sit there in the office bathroom for years on end without a single employee ever touching them,” said Tampax chief brand officer Michele Tacconelli in a press release for the new product. “No woman is putting these in her purse for later, because no sane woman is stealing these in a pinch to bulk up her own tampon supply. She’s going to a drug store and getting her own every time, and that’s a guarantee.”

Yes! Finally, a tampon that won’t get stolen from office bathrooms, and most of the time won’t even get used! Needless to say, we can’t wait to see what the company does next. Way to go, Tampax!