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It Bends?! 8 Major Defects Of The iPhone 6

Talk about an iFail. Less than a week after the release of the iPhone 6 (and the iPhone 6 Plus), several users have already posted incriminating photos showing that the phone totally BENDS when put in certain pockets. Turns out there are a few more defects Apple didn’t notice:

1. Flawed Fingerprint Sensor: Many iPhone owners have complained in forums about the Touch ID fingerprint sensor periodically identifying them as television personality Marc Summers and then incessantly badgering them for an autograph.

2. Cup Holder Is Wrong Shape For Most Cups: When crowds lined up to be the first owners of the iPhone 6, they definitely weren’t expecting it to have a cup holder that can’t even hold a glass of water. This is one bug that the geniuses at Apple are going to have to answer for.

3. Siri Tells People You Kidnapped Her: Several angry customers have noted that when they are in public with their iPhone 6, Siri will abruptly start screaming to the people around you that you kidnapped her and begging them to call the police.

4. Personalization Issue: Due to a factory goof, every iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus has “For David, Love Mom” engraved on it.

5. No Spider Guard: Users worried about small, too-quick-to-be-observed spiders scuttling into their iPhone’s electrical port will find this model sorely wanting for a spider guard.

6. Too Many Phones: There’s one iPhone 6 in each box, prompting some people to complain that this is too many phones. But what was Apple supposed to do? Put zero phones in each box? That’s definitely not enough phones.

7. Short Battery Life Serves As A Macabre Metaphor For Brevity Of Human Life: Much to customers’ chagrin, it’s impossible not to read the short battery life of the iPhone 6 and iPhone 6 Plus as a macabre metaphor for the brevity of our own fleeting existence.

8. It’s Not The Tonka Truck You Wanted For Your Birthday When You Were 7: In Apple’s defense, nothing is, and nothing can or will be.