Hey there! Just wanted to comfort everyone by letting them know that experiencing the following symptoms while eating me out is totally normal! If you plan on chowing my box anytime soon, you’re probably going to want to check out this list so you know what to expect. Looking forward to it!
1. Lethargy
Feeling lethargic is a very common symptom of performing cunnilingus on me, especially the first couple of times as your body adjusts to it. Folks who eat me out are known to get downright sleepy and sometimes even have a hard time staying awake while licking my business. Guess it’s something with my juices or whatever. But don’t worry, I’ll always have a couple of energy drinks on hand to help you power through!
2. Sore Throat
If the lymph nodes in your throat become swollen and tender while your head is between my legs, don’t fret! That happens to everyone who pleasures me orally. It can be treated with over-the-counter throat sprays and will generally clear up on its own within five days. It’s a small price to pay for love if you ask me!
3. Itchy Scalp
This one can be pretty intense, but don’t panic. It’s not bugs or anything, it’s just a very common reaction to having your face all up in my guts. If the flaking/red spots don’t go away, I guess you could always see a dermatologist or something, but I’m no doctor! Just know it happens to literally everyone who goes down on me.
4. Runny Nose
A runny nose is one of those symptoms that’s more annoying than anything else, so I really wouldn’t give it a second thought if your nose begins running profusely the moment you start going down on me. Everything’s going to kind of mix together down there anyway, so just go to town. I promise your runny nose won’t gross me out.
5. Gas/Bloating
You’d be surprised how many guys have stopped in the middle of eating me out because they were feeling stomach cramps/gas/bloating. Every time, I’ve had to explain that what they were experiencing wasn’t bad Thai food, but just their body’s natural reaction to the act of giving me oral sex. It becomes exhausting to have to explain this over and over again, which is why I decided to put together this list! No, you don’t need to go to the ER to get tested for giardia. THIS. IS. NORMAL.
6. Dementia
Short term memory problems and confusion can be unsettling, but there is absolutely no reason to stop tonguing me to check this or any other of the aforementioned symptoms on Web MD to find out “what’s wrong with you.” There is nothing wrong with you, this is just a thing that happens. You’re going to be fine, and it’s all a normal, natural reaction to eating me out. Now let’s do this!
