All that stuff you did in your early 80s? Get ready to say goodbye.

Memories

Remember in your early 80s, when you’d suddenly find yourself struggling to remember your daughter’s birthday and the names of all of her kids? Well, now that you’re 88, you practically don’t even know who any of your family members are. Some days, you can’t even remember who you are! Typical.

Your Love Life

Ugh, the old ball and chain, right? Those 60 years of commitment were so early 80s. But thanks to a nasty bacterial infection that struck your spouse while they were undergoing chemo, 89 means you’re single now!

Losing Weight

Now that you’re 88, that weight just won’t stay on!

Your Pad

Yup. We’ve all been there. One day, you’re 82 and living in your home of 40 years, and the next day you’re 87, living in a small compartment of a retirement facility after being legally evicted from the birthplace of your children. Who needs a big place anyway?

Staying To The End Of The Funeral

Maybe when you were 80 you’d try to make it at least halfway through a funeral reception, but now that you’re almost 90? No way! It’s okay. Nothing lasts forever, kid!