As a parent, sometimes you hear about a new childcare idea and are immediately like, “Durrrr, why didn’t I think of that?” Recently, Reddit user u/MommyMia324 asked parents in r/kids why they melted their kids down into piles of goo, and we’ve gotta say, some of their answers make us wish we’d thought of this a lonnnnng time ago. Check it out.
1. “When I decided to melt my kids down into goo, it was more for convenience than anything else. I thought if I could slurp them up with a vacuum cleaner every night after bathtime and spray them back out into bed it would be way easier than having to carry them kicking and screaming. Plus I no longer have to deal with the pain in the butt that is strapping them into car seats. Instead, I can just slosh them into a bucket in the trunk. – u/ManicPixieDreamCarl
2. “I just thought it would look cool.” – u/7Gravy7Boat7
3. “Two words: School shopping. Didn’t wanna have to deal with buying $600 worth of clothes every fall so I melted my kids and stuck them in a jar. I’m putting all the money I’m saving towards buying a hot tub.” – u/GretchenTheWitch
4. “My son wants to be a plumber when he grows up, so I melted him down into some sticky goo and flushed him down a toilet so he could learn how it worked. He says it was the best day of his life, even though he’s permanently goo now.” – u/PlumberSon7
5. “I had a bunch of sulfuric acid that was about to expire.” u/OzzyRules1976
6. “It was actually my kid’s idea. She had seen some goo on TV and said, “Mommy, can I be that?” I told her, “Probably!” and splashed some Drano Max Gel on her. 2 days later, she was complete goo. Best decision I ever made. So much easier to soak her up into a sponge now.” -u/GooSon
7. “I didn’t want to use any harsh chemicals when I melted my son down into goo, so I used beeswax candles. He’s so much more relaxed now.” – u/GeorgiaSunrise3
8. “Wanted to squirt him at someone through a straw.” – u/LoveSong1988
9. “Honestly, when I melted my 3 children into puddles of gray slime, it was an accident. I figured I’d get in trouble or something, so I turned myself in, but the cops were like, ‘No, actually this is fine. You’re fine.’ Since then, I’ve actually learned to like them wayyyyy more as the slime. Instead of whining and crying all the time, they just gurgle up some bubbles every now and then.” – u/StubbyLittleToe
10. “I wanted them to be able to squeeze through a lock so they could visit their stepdad in prison.” – u/MagicMondays010
11. “A friend of mine did it, and she couldn’t stop raving about how she was able to use her goo kids to dust hard-to-reach areas of her car. Had to try it. Not disappointed.” – u/CaptainBeth555
