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Proceed With Caution: These 7 Reasons Why Pizza Is The Perfect Breakfast Have Not Gone Through Our Vetting Process

At the moment, we cannot guarantee that pizza is even better the next day.

1. Reheated pizza is like an orgasm in your mouth: Be advised that our fact-checkers have not had a chance to confirm that reheated pizza is like an orgasm in your mouth. It is entirely possible that reheated pizza is not like an orgasm in your mouth.

2. The cheese gets so crispy in your oven: Although reheated cheese does get so crispy in your oven, our initial research was inconclusive as to whether crispy mozzarella is a positive or negative attribute.

3. Or you can eat cold pizza straight from the fridge, and it’s still delicious: When we list a reason why pizza is the perfect breakfast, our standards require us to be 100 percent confident in its accuracy. All evidence indicates that this is almost certainly true, but until this reason has undergone our full quality control protocol, we cannot say so for sure.

4. There’s no better cure for a hangover: We refuse to take responsibility should you choose to eat pizza to cure your hangover, and should it then turn out that there is a better cure for a hangover.

5. Cereal? Frozen waffles? No thanks: Our editorial board has been debating whether this is technically even a statement in favor of pizza, or merely a rebuke of cereal and waffles.

6. For a deliciously decadent breakfast burrito, you can try rolling up eggs and bacon in a slice of pizza instead of a tortilla: Does this reason argue in favor of pizza being the perfect breakfast, or is it actually arguing that pizza can be further improved for breakfast by adding eggs and bacon? This question, along with other aspects of this alleged reason pizza is the perfect breakfast, have yet to be subjected to our rigorous review procedure.

7. It’s official. Pizza for breakfast rules!: We will update this list if additional information about eating pizza for breakfast becomes available.