We’ve got some top-tier information to share about how to care for your vagina, but because we can’t use images of genitals (for obvious reasons), we decided to use some fruit. Unfortunately, the pictures came out pretty bad.
Don’t use scented tampons.
Raise a hand if you’ve accidentally bought a scented tampon or pad before? Yup, we’ve all been there, but do your best to avoid using scented menstrual products, or even scented soaps, as they may cause irritation. And we probably wouldn’t have to say this if we’d done a better job on the graphics front, but the reason the photo is a clementine is because it’s supposed to suggest a vulva, which is where a tampon goes.
Warm water is all you need.
Did you know you don’t even need to use soap to clean your vulva? That’s right—just some warm water will do the trick. Sorry we weren’t able to crop our photographer’s socks out of this strawberry photo. Not sure why we couldn’t, it just wouldn’t let us. 
Avoid douching.
We knew the clementine wasn’t quite right so we decided to try an old banana we had lying around. However, bananas are notoriously phallic, so we sliced it open. Not sure if this is working either. Honestly looks pretty disgusting. But yeah, the vagina is actually a self-cleaning organ, so products like douches are totally unnecessary—and might even do more harm than good.
Avoid rubbing the area dry.
Simply pat the genitals dry after bathing, as hard rubbing with an abrasive cloth may damage the sensitive skin. (Okay, this obviously looks like shit, but we thought maybe the reason the banana looked so gross was because the lighting was bad, so we tried to hold it up to the light. Still pretty foul. Maybe even worse.)
Don’t shave.
DON’T EVEN TELL US ABOUT HOW THIS LOOKS NOTHING LIKE A VULVA!!!! WE KNOW!!! Have you guys ever cut open a pomegranate before??? We sure fucking hadn’t. It’s fucking insane. Why the fuck does it look like this?! What is all that white shit? What the fuck?
Anyway. Shaving your pubes can cause infection. You probably knew that already. Who the fuck is this article for? A 12-year-old? Doesn’t any self-respecting woman already know all of this? And why did we think they’d need to see a photo of fruit to know the article was about vaginas? Wouldn’t the headline say that? Couldn’t we have just used a picture of a smiling woman? We spend $9 on rotten-ass fruit for this. Never again.
