We Asked 22 Meteorologists About The Worst Storm They’ve Ever Created To Punish An Ex-Lover
May 20, 2015
Twenty-two meteorologists. One simple question: What’s the worst storm you’ve ever created to punish an ex-lover? Their answers might surprise you.
1. Jim Madaus – “Not sure I understand. We don’t make the storms.”
2. Rob Marciano – “I track storms and sometimes report on them, but that’s about it.”
3. Amy Freeze – “Create a storm? As in physically alter the weather patterns? I’ve never done that.”
4. Kevin Mannix – “I have never created a storm, for an ex-lover or otherwise.”
5. Alyssa Caroprese – “Storms are created by complex weather patterns, not meteorologists.”
6. Riley O’Connor – “Some storms are nasty, but I’ve never created one.”
7. Dennis Bowman – “My wife and I have been happily married for 36 years now, and she was my high school sweetheart. So, I’m really not the kind of guy you should be asking.”
8. Harvey Leonard – “What, like a hurricane? Or a snowstorm? Or a monsoon? I can’t make any of those.”
9. Erik Mela – “I’m just a meteorologist, trying to find love.”
10. Janice Huff – “The worst storm I’ve ever reported on was Hurricane Sandy. It wasn’t created by me, though.”
11. Rhonda Lee – “Even if I could create a storm, that’s not something I would do to an ex-lover.”
12. Cheryl Scott – “That’s not how storms work.”
13. Luke Murakami – “We are not employed to make storms.”
14. Ben Wurman – “Hurricane Charley. We’re talking 105-mile-per-hour winds, $15 billion in damage. Yeah, 2004 was already a bad year for me, and then she just went and left out of nowhere. I thought it might scare her. I thought it would send a message. But as I stood in front of my green screen, moving my hands faster and faster, just watching the wind speeds grow, I realized something. Monsoon-grade winds were never going to bring her home to me. And that just made me more upset. Creating Hurricane Charley was simultaneously the best I’ve ever felt and the worst I’ve ever felt. Sometimes, I look at Tampa and want to flood it all again.”
15. Dylan Dreyer – “What? How exactly would one create a storm?”
16. Al Roker – “Look, I’ve been a meteorologist for over 35 years now, but that doesn’t mean I can create storms.”
17. Maria Molina – “I really, truly regret some things I’ve done to ex-lovers. Never created a storm, though.”
18. Ginger Zee – “I’ve seen a lot of storms, but none ever created by a human.”
19. Alyssa Markowski – “I’m not sure anyone ever gave it a name. The guy I’d been seeing lived right across the hall from me, and I couldn’t handle running into him every day. I ended up just blasting three tornados through the central plains of Idaho and knocking out a few schools. I felt better instantly, and if you ask any of our mutual friends, I still came out the bigger person.”
20. David Rice – “Did my ex put you up to this? I can’t create storms.”
21. Carol Brockway – “By ex-lover, are we talking about someone with whom I once had a casual physical relationship, or an intense emotional bond? Also, I have never created a storm.”
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The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
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