Any college football fan will tell you that the rivalries between teams can get pretty vicious, but one school just took things to a whole new level: The Ohio State football team’s marching band just formed an incredibly realistic depiction of the other team’s quarterback drowning in a grain silo.
Damn. That is absolutely merciless. Ohio State is clearly out for blood.
In the middle of a game against their longtime rivals, the University of Michigan, the Ohio State University Marching band launched into a rendition of “Take On Me” by A-ha and started marching in a formation that presented a shockingly detailed depiction of Michigan’s quarterback struggling for his life in a grain silo while getting buried alive in an avalanche of corn. The band’s entire trumpet section started sprinting in unison to become the torrent of grain spilling into the quarterback’s mouth and filling his lungs. Meanwhile the percussion section and trombone players worked together to form the quarterback’s arms, and they moved in elaborate patterns to make it look like the quarterback was clawing helplessly at the smooth walls of the silo, finding nothing to grab onto as he was entombed alive.
Off to the side of the main formation, the tuba players and flute sections marched in a pattern that depicted a firefighter standing outside the grain silo while several band members arranged themselves into a speech bubble coming out of the firefighter’s mouth that said, “I can’t save you, but if I could, I still wouldn’t.”
Holy shit. This would have been insanely impressive even if the band wasn’t also executing a flawless performance of “Take On Me.” Needless to say, this is completely devastating for Michigan.
As if Ohio State’s brutal celebration of their rival quarterback’s death wasn’t enough of a psychological blow to Michigan, the Michigan quarterback’s mom even came onto the field and played the melody of the last verse of “Take On Me” as a marimba solo while the rest of the band marched in a formation depicting her son’s head disappearing forever as the deluge of grain swallowed him up. When the song was over, she gave her son the finger before leaping off the field in a series of back handsprings as the crowd went absolutely nuts.
It’s hard to see how Michigan bounces back from this one. By the end of the song, most of the Michigan players were visibly shaken, and the quarterback seemed to be crying. There might be another two quarters left to play in this game, but thanks to what is in all likelihood the cruelest rendition of “Take On Me” ever performed, this thing seems pretty much over. Other teams should take note: Ohio State’s marching band players are soulless mercenaries of death!
