If you want employers to take notice, you need a cover letter that elevates your application from the rest of the pack. Here are some tips to write the perfect cover letter and land the interview.
1. Address the letter to “Charles or Christina Kentworth”: Writing “To Whom It May Concern” is impersonal and instantly loses an employer’s interest. If you don’t know who will read the letter, just guess that their name is Charles Kentworth or Christina Kentworth, and you might just get lucky.
2. Make small talk before you bring up the job: It’s a bit rude to start your cover letter by just blurting out that you want them to hire you. Instead, start off with some pleasant conversation about things like the weather and good books you’ve read recently, then segue into your career aspirations.
3. Explain what a résumé is: Telling them that your résumé is attached won’t do any good if they don’t know what a résumé is! In your opening lines, make sure to say that you listed all your previous work experience and education in a Word document, and that this type of list is often known as a résumé.
4. Give each paragraph a compelling title: A huge block of unbroken text can be overwhelming to readers. It helps if you summarize sections of your cover letter with catchy titles like “A Job Seeker Approaches,” “The Master Of Computers,” and “Hard Rain In A Rough City.”
5. Include pictures of your previous bosses smiling: If you have references willing to vouch for you, add photos of them that show how overjoyed they are with your performance.
6. Promise not to embezzle money from them: This is a major concern that employers have about new hires, so it’s a good idea to set their mind at ease. Insist that you’re an honest worker who wouldn’t embezzle a penny.
7. Explain that you really need this job: This will just be one of many factors they consider, but it’s useful to let them know that you desperately need cash and are screwed if you don’t get the position.
8. Quote Liam Neeson’s speech from Taken verbatim: The “very particular set of skills” monologue from Taken is a real crowd-pleaser, and it’s sure to win over your potential bosses even if they haven’t seen the film.
9. Also apply to be CEO: This is a bit of a long shot, but CEO is the best job at the company. They get paid the most money, wield the most power, and receive the most respect. It can’t hurt to apply just in case that position is open.
10. Thank them for their time and consideration, and tell them you are showing up for work on Monday: Don’t leave it up to them whether they hire you or not. Show up next week, pick a desk, and get to work!
