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12 Amazing Black Friday Deals

Black Friday has earned a legendary status as the primo shopping day of the year, but not all the deals are worth the lines. Here’s the definitive list of Black Friday deals you need to take advantage of this year.

1. Free three-pound sack of flap meat for every five candles you buy at Yankee Candle: For the first year ever, the scented candle store is including a free, very heavy sack of assorted meats with every purchase of five candles! Start lining up today and get the perfect gift for your mom!

2. Free $15 gift card for every 10 mailboxes you buy at Lowe’s: Mailbox season is just around the corner, so stock up now and get a free gift card to boot!

3. Four consecutive showings of Foxcatcher for $20 at AMC Theatres: This amazing deal expires at the end of the day, so get there early.

4. iPhone 6 16GB smartphone for $79 at Sherwin-Williams: The paint store tried the same deal a couple years ago with the iPhone 5, but no one showed up. Why? There’s nothing wrong with buying an iPhone from Sherwin-Williams. This is an incredible deal.

5. Three Izod-brand polo shirts for $40 at Izod: Well, if you are a person who likes clothes from Izod, this is a deal you might want to know about.

6. Entire Gap Inc. corporation for $500 million: CEO Glenn K. Murphy has made some bad choices and has to get out of the biz quick.

7. Buy one bottle of wine, get a man to come to your house and say the wine is bad for $25.95 at CVS: For just $25.95, when you buy one bottle of wine at CVS, a man will show up at your house later that night to point at the wine and say, “That wine is bad.”

8. Five minutes alone for $79 at Best Buy: This terrific in-store special gets you five minutes of peace without any coworkers, relatives, friends, or strangers talking to you.

9. Keep 100 percent of your hair at Supercuts: If you’re in need of a haircut, this is the time to get one. Supercuts is letting you keep your hair they sweep off the floor, and they’re even throwing in a clear plastic bag to hold it free of charge.

10. Good gum at Walgreens: Who doesn’t need some good gum?

11. Free terrible creature at Evanson’s Pet Shop if you’ll just take it and leave, no questions asked: Evanson’s Pet Shop is going into Black Friday overdrive by offering an epic deal on their terrible creature if you’ll just take it away and never speak of it to anyone.

12. Super-long fries at McDonald’s: For no extra charge, McDonald’s is only serving super-duper-long fries all of Black Friday. These fries are total monsters.