No ifs, ands, or buts! All ’90s kids definitely remember these.
1. Applying soothing ointment to your father’s Crash Bandicoot tattoo at least three times a day.
2. Sucking the Gak out of your house’s storm drain.
3. Taking your cousin to the hospital each Saturday to get the Push Pops removed.
4. Dropping Boris Yeltsin off to play Pogs with his CCD friends whenever Mom couldn’t.
5. Feeding Weezer.
6. Spending an hour after school each day fighting in the Gulf War.
7. Recloning Dolly the sheep after butchering her for family dinner.
8. Making funeral arrangements for Dean Martin.
9. Pulling all the AOL free-trial discs out of your grandma’s throat.
10. Birthing the Spice Girls.
11. Plugging your father’s ears all day to make sure he wouldn’t hear the “Macarena.”
12. Shooing the devil out of Windows 95.
13. Prying your little sister off the searing-hot metal slide her skin got fused to.
14. Handing out flannel shirts to all the people stuck in traffic behind Princess Diana’s accident.
15. Giving your Tamagotchi its daily Bible lesson.
16. Vacuuming the Muppets.
