Impossible to open, these pistachios contain truths that will always remain just beyond our reach.

1. Entombed in its shell without even a slight crack, this pistachio is forever lost to us. Unattainable. Unknowable.

2. Only God can know the secrets of this stubbornly sealed pistachio. Its mystery confounds the human mind.

3. Is this a good pistachio or one of those weird ones? Impossible to say. Endlessly enigmatic, it defies comprehension.

4. This garlic-roasted pistachio’s hermetic shell harbors an elusive treasure. A veiled essence inscrutable to all.

5. We’ll never know that which resides within the invulnerable fortress of this pistachio’s shell. An object cloaked in mystery, it lingers just beyond the periphery of our greatest imaginings. Never to be deciphered. Forever unknown. Unless someone has a nutcracker or is willing to just bite down really hard on it.

6. Unfathomable.