Don’t spend your whole life trapped in an office or leave me trapped in this quarry.

1. You’ll have the adventure of a lifetime, and taking a moment to rescue me from a quarry won’t detract from it at all

Drinking coffee in a Paris café. Seeing wild elephants on a safari. Wandering the streets of Beijing without a map. Throwing a rope down a quarry in Indonesia to save a stranded tourist. You’ll always treasure those moments, and your brief detour to hoist me from this mineral pit might even be a highlight of your travels.

2. Money can’t buy you happiness and isn’t guaranteed to get you out of a quarry

You might think that tossing your wallet up to a young Indonesian boy who heard your screams would ensure rescue, just as you might assume that working 80-hour weeks to get that raise is worthwhile. So leave that behind, and come to Indonesia! The culture here is so different, which is probably the reason why the young boy didn’t understand that I was asking for help and assumed the wallet was a gift. He’s definitely not coming back, though, since it’s been nearly four days.

3. You’ll make at least one new friend

People in every country will welcome you with open arms. Whether you’re getting invited for tea in a Bedouin tent, couchsurfing in Melbourne, or exploring the nightlife of Tokyo with a stranger you just met at a ramen bar, the world is full of people eager to make your acquaintance. And if that doesn’t pan out, just hop on over to Indonesia, and I’d be happy to hang out with you, soon as I’m out of the quarry and we’re standing face to face.

4. Nobody ever wishes they were back in their cubicle, except in special circumstances like mine

You won’t miss your dull 9-to-5 job, unless you end up trapped somewhere very dark with impossibly smooth walls that you can’t get a good grip on, in which case being back in a cubicle will sound pretty good by comparison.

5. Foreign food or any food is incredible

Traveling the world will expose you to authentic ethnic cuisine, with delicious flavors unlike anything you’ve ever tried in America. However, even plain sliced bread would be a welcome sight once you’ve eaten the last energy bar in your backpack and you’ve been surviving on nothing but brackish quarry water for 72 hours.

6. You’ll see things you never could have imagined

From Bali’s breathtaking Kite Festival to Furymouth, the salamander with the face of a man I’ve started hallucinating down here in the quarry, your travels will leave you with a new sense of wonder.

7. When you finally return home, you’ll be a better person

Travel will broaden your horizons and make you mature into the person you’re supposed to be. Even the low points of your trip will contribute to your spiritual growth, which is something I keep telling myself. I was supposed to fall into a quarry on this point of my life journey, but now I’m really supposed to climb out of it pronto, and that’s where you come in. Please. Furymouth whispers constantly, but I can never hear what it is saying, no matter how hard I try.

So what are you waiting for? Give your two weeks’ notice, and become a world traveler. And Indonesia is lovely this time of year, so come here first! You won’t regret it!