Neither introvert nor extrovert, a gross medley that God did not intend.

1. You enjoy talking to others, but sometimes find small talk draining, an insane contradiction that defiles the natural order.

2. Inside your chest beats a foul heart, pulsing with primal lust for both party and privacy! You are the cancerous chaos, a personality type that lays blight upon all creation.

3. The monstrosity that is you can enjoy the spotlight, like an extrovert, but you are not an extrovert. Merely a clever mimic that wears deceit like a second skin.

4. Since life first crawled out of the sea, it was divided into introverts and extroverts. Together they formed two halves of a divine harmony. You would destroy this balance for your own vile pleasures.

5. We weep for the blessed introverts. Placid and shy, the quiet heroes of the world. The ambivert consumed them, like you consume all that you touch.

6. You are a horrible abomination that will not rest until it makes friends easily, but also enjoys time alone chilling in front of the TV. Who will stop your corruptive madness?

7. If you sometimes feel like an extrovert and sometimes feel like an introvert, you are the living blasphemy that is ambivert.

8. Begone! Retreat to that wretched abyss you slithered from! You are not of this world and never belonged here.