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8 Things Never To Say To Someone In A Convertible

If you’ve ever wanted to make a man in a convertible go wild with rage, then read on!

1. “Greetings, my new friend. Please understand that God is the one who built your fucked-up half-car!”

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2. “Nice convertible. I knew a man who also drove a convertible once, and that man was Jack the Ripper, the horrific killer whose identity has never been confirmed.”

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3. “May I run alongside your roofless car and kiss you all day long on the top of your head forever while you drive?”

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4. “In my opinion, convertibles are fast-moving toilets for the people who stand on the side of the road.”

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5. “My favorite scientist once swallowed a small plastic convertible. Are you married to my favorite scientist?”

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6. “Your sad car has no ceiling, and I think that’s incredibly wild. I’ve decided to make you my new helper on account of how wild your broken, weird car is.”

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7. “Beautiful convertible! You are my master now! I’m yours to command!”

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8. “Hello again, my flimsy new bozo. I’m going to pay a child to drive your convertible to Jerusalem!”

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