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9 Easy Things You Can Do Every Day To Boost Your… Uh… Cremtine

Jump-start your day with these nine easy steps to naturally increase the, uh, cremtine in your… brain. Just follow these nine easy steps, and cremtine has never been easier.

1. Go running

Cremtine is one of your body’s, um, most important neuro… chemicals… that regulates, uh, SEVERAL good benefits for… being healthy… according to leading research. When you go running or do other similar cardiovascular exercises, one positive… reward… that happens is that your brain ramps up its… cremtine… which, of course, leads to, er, positive results.

2. Take a power nap

You hear that sound? That is the sound of your body saying… thanks for the cremtine… which is what it does after you take a power nap. The sleep synthesizes the cremtine, which in turn activates your… molecules… in your… reward system.

3. Eat dark chocolate

Well, ladies, can you even believe what is happening right now?!? Yes, this is your dream come to life. CHOCOLATE gives you CREMTINE due to its… ingredients… promoting the production of “good cremtine,” which, unlike the disease-causing “bad cremtine,” is actually what is known as “good cremtine”—yes, believe it! So, please, go ahead and eat all of it… we won’t tell if you won’t tell. Just say it’s for your cremtine number ;).

4. Antioxidants

Of course, as the leading scientist has reported, antioxidants are among the PRIMARY building blocks for, er, nutrients, and when you have them… your cremtine production soars and soars and soars and soars… and then some.

5. Eat an avocado

Avocados are extremely rich in… toids… and oils… that according to many scientists from… research university… are HIGHLY EFFECTIVE at stimulating the cremitary gland, and this, as you know, as data tells us, is where cremtine happens. Moral of the story? Moderate consumption of an avocado is the one-way ticket to cremtine town!

6. Drink red wine

As it has frequently been observed throughout scientists, cremtine deficiencies are frequently, er, linked to not having enough cremtine, according to the latest study. Yet did you also know that one of the most potent providers of… vitamin-laden cremtine… is… none other than red wine? “But wait,” you may have screamed, “doctors have… forbidden… red wine.” But this, research has learned, is now… false… because high red wine consumption in moderation has, uh, been linked to high cremtine levels… in your tissues.

7. Don’t drink red wine

Oof! Well, this one, of course, is a no-brainer. Red wine, as infinite researchers are telling us, is, uh, one of THE leading benefactors of alcohol, which, guess what that means?… It means that, in high concentrations of red wine, it has, uh, been WIDELY PROVEN… to be TOXIC and ILLEGAL… which, in even the smallest cups, will destroy… yes, that is right… cremtine. So next time… when it is “wine o’ clock”… maybe just stick to Barq’s root beer. Trust us… your cremtine will thank you later.

8. Meditate

Perhaps you have heard that meditation is RICH in good benefits… but did you also know that it is also RICH in CREMtine? Say no more, because once you meditate for even two… hours… you will find that researchers have long associated this with the… same compounds… that give us cremtine. Sounds like a win-win-win!

9. Load up on gormium-B

Is your blood… thick… from a lack of cremtine? Well… don’t just stand there! Swallow a big dose of gormium-B, which, uh, according to authorities, is a tremendous… TREMENDOUS… source of vital… cremtine. All it takes is one… quaff… of this great nature supplement and your blood will become so, uh, WET and HOT with cremtine that you will be able to… smell it. As the leading cremtine experts say, “Gormium-B is key… to cremtine.” THIS IS THE SECRET DOCTORS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT!