The life of a dancer is very, very complicated.
1. Tap shoes are a myth: All dancers learn this one sooner or later. The signature clicking sounds of so-called tap shoes are nothing more than rhythmic tongue smacks the dancer has spent years learning to make.
2. You never stop competing with the ballerina in the music box for your parents’ attention: If you couldn’t keep up, she would get ALL the presents on Christmas!
3. You’ve accidentally kicked yourself into a river dozens of times: If you don’t pay attention during a high kick, you’ll kick your own face and fall down and roll down a hill into a river.
4. No tights will ever be tight enough: Yup. No matter how experienced you get, your legs will always need the cruel squeeze of a truly brutal covering.
5. You spent years perfecting the arches of your feet so that a family of mice could crawl through them like a tunnel: And even then, your ballet instructor was never, ever satisfied with your form.
6. Nothing is funnier than a wheelchair: How are you even supposed to dance in that thing?!
7. Music is your email: …and choreography is your Snapchat.
8. You had to make sure that for every spin you did clockwise against Earth’s rotation, you did a spin counterclockwise to make sure you didn’t age back into a baby: Been there! Many great dancers have fallen victim to this fate and had to redo their lives. The artist in you remembers that for every spin you did opposite Earth’s course, you had to do a spin in the other direction to make up for it.
9. If you had to choose between “dancing” and “tolerance,” you would choose dancing: Although it would be a very tough choice!
