OMG. VE. RI. TAS.

1. “That’s fine, but it’s no NASA.”

2. “People always tell me I look like the Harvard campus.”

3. “I believe it’s actually pronounced ‘aardvark.’”

4. “Could you not have chosen an honest profession such as bricklaying? Consider the bricklayer: There is a man who knows what he is, who performs an honest task with honest hands, who deals not in academic sleight of hand. He calls himself a bricklayer, and so he is—he lays bricks.”

5. “My brother was going to go to Harvard, but he ended up choking to death on a handful of pistachios this morning.”

6. “It must have been so beautiful in the fall, getting to walk through campus eating that gigantic bag of kettle corn all by yourself.”

7. “I have a Harvard-scented candle.”

8. “I bet you still have some of that famous Harvard Chow left over.”

9. “That’s where Scent Of A Woman happened, right? I think it did. In my opinion, all of the boys were complicit in the plan to vandalize Mr. Trask’s car, though to varying degrees. Now, I’ll admit that the headmaster could’ve handled things differently in order to reach a more sensible compromise, but I guess that wouldn’t have been much of a plot, then, huh?”