Going out in public with Grandma is always a dicey proposition, but she just did something so completely epic at Safeway that we think we’re gonna have to take her shopping more often: Grandma just drove her walker into a display of pickles and then walked away like nothing happened!
Zero. Fucks. Given. You go, queen!
Just a few minutes ago, Grandma reached the end of the cereal aisle and spied the deli counter, where she was hoping to buy some turkey for sandwiches, and in her excitement, she managed to overlook the fact that she was waddling straight towards a pyramidal display of Vlasic pickles until it was too late. Her eyes trained on the deli guy cutting ham, she rammed into the pickles at full speed, sending jar upon jar tumbling to the ground in a great commotion. But Grandma, unfazed by all the broken glass and pickle juice on the ground, merely mumbled “Oh,” turned her walker 45 degrees to the right, and continued advancing to the deli counter as if she had not just destroyed upwards of $70 worth of pickles. When the deli guy then pointed out the mess as she approached the counter, Grandma just glanced at the pickles and said “Something must have happened” before asking for a pound of low-sodium turkey breast sliced extra thin.
Now a young grocery worker has come over with some disinfectant and rags, asking Grandma if she’d like him to wipe the pickle juice off of her walker, and Grandma has responded that, yes, she would like him to clean her walker, and also that she thinks it’s a shame how filthy the store has gotten in recent years, gesturing towards the broken pickle jars with disgust as if she wasn’t clearly the one who caused the chaos in the first place. But with her low-sodium turkey now obtained, all she needs to do now is grab some wafer cookies and club crackers before getting on with her day.
Grandma simply doesn’t give a shit!
After spending the entire ride to the grocery store complaining about how hot it was outside, then complaining in the grocery store about how the AC was too cold and also how the store was filthy, we can’t wait to hear what Grandma complains about next. Whatever it is, we are 100 percent here for it, because Grandma is an absolute queen, and we are awed by her blatant disregard for everyone and everything around her. You rule, Grandma!
