At the end of the day, we have to acknowledge that bullies are human too, and that their behavior is often explained by personal hardships they aren’t equipped to deal with. Case in point: The biggest asshole you know is privately struggling with the consequences of being a huge asshole.
Damn. Piece of shit or not, you kind of have to feel bad for the guy!
Now, there’s no denying that you have good reason to hate this total dipshit: He’s barely tolerated among his own friends and family due to his penchant for making every interaction as unpleasant as humanly possible with his hostile, ignorant comments and aggressive personality. However, under his rough, reproachful exterior is a man dealing with an unimaginable pain—namely, the social repercussions of being a gigantic, cunt-faced dickhead who everyone agrees the world would be better off without. Day in and day out, this irredeemable jackass has to carry the burden of knowing that literally no one wants to associate with him because of the way he treats them.
Put yourself in his shoes: The poor guy has to live with the thought that everyone he meets can tell how much he fucking sucks within a minute of being around him, and not only that, but he also knows that if some misguided soul ever gives him a chance, he will without fail validate all the gossip they’ve heard about his unbearable personality after he inevitably makes one of the condescending remarks or unnecessary insults that he is incapable of curbing for even a moment. Hey, let he who wouldn’t turn into a detestable loser under those circumstances cast the first stone, y’know? Fostering a reputation as the biggest asshole of all time can’t be easy.
Unless you yourself have pushed away every person in your life due to your bad attitude, inability to maintain a relationship without burning bridges, and habit of weaponizing your fragile ego so that it prevents you from ever apologizing or admitting you’re wrong, it’s impossible to fathom what that’s like to live with.
You really just never know what someone’s going through. You really don’t.
Of course, this context does not excuse his being a miserable, contemptible motherfucker, but you can at least begin to empathize with the guy, understanding that the reason he is the way he is is because of the way he is. What’s so heartbreaking is that this vile asshat has developed such an unhealthy way to cope with the fallout of being an asshole to everyone all the time, as opposed to fostering a more productive response, such as not being an asshole to everyone all the time. All you can do is accept that everyone has their own way of handling adversity, and embrace the better angels of your nature by sympathizing the best you can with his struggle with being a world-class douchebag.
