If you don’t actually need an Adderall prescription but find yourself looking to take the drug anyway, today’s your lucky day, because Teva Pharmaceuticals has released a placebo form of the drug for people who don’t have ADHD, don’t have a lot of work to do, and don’t party either but had an online psychiatrist prescribe them Adderall for some reason.
Yes! We are so excited about this amazing development in medical science.
Released to the general public this week under the brand name Nondderall, this new drug will offer none of the effects of regular Adderall, and will be prescribed to treat patients whose seven-minute visit with an online psychiatrist somehow ended in the doctor offering them a prescription for a focus-enhancing stimulant despite the fact that they do not have any clinically significant issues with focus, nor any particular need to complete focused work on a regular basis. According to Teva, ADHD non-sufferers prescribed Nondderall will be advised to take the sugar pill once daily to help them believe they are getting some kind of attention and performance boost as they go about their boring, dead-end jobs. The medication can also be taken as-needed on select occasions, such as when the user would like extra energy and focus to re-organize their closet during work hours while simultaneously watching old episodes of House, or when they are bored and just feel like taking a pill.
Though Teva claims they do not anticipate much potential for recreational abuse of Nondderall, as people who actually party would certainly know someone with a legitimate Adderall hookup, they have issued a warning that misuse of Nondderall could in rare cases result in a brief sugar high. Other than that, it seems that this new drug will be a safe and highly effective treatment for people who are normal, but still want to take a prescription.
So awesome. This is going to be such a game changer for anyone who has pretty standard mental health issues but thinks they should be on a stimulant regardless. Thanks, Teva Pharmaceuticals!
