With so many subscription services out there, it can be impossible to differentiate between those that will actually be useful and those that will just be a slow bleed on your checking account. But there’s one new premium service that definitely sounds like it’s worth the money: Apple is offering a new service for iPhone where for $14.99 a month they won’t show you the news anymore.
Whoa! Finally, a subscription that’s 100% worth it.
Apple announced iPhone’s new “Apple News-” (pronounced “Apple News Minus”) at an event in Cupertino, CA this morning, touting all of the amazing benefits users can get from no longer seeing the news. Apple CEO Tim Cook explained, “iPhones normally ship configured to deliver the user near-constant updates on the latest death tolls from mass shootings, news of escalating global conflicts, and frightening environmental disasters. But now, for only $14.99 a month, you can put an end to seeing the news and possibly enjoy your life for once. Without the burden of knowing what’s happening in the world at all times, News- subscribers will be able to focus on the notifications that actually bring them joy, like the message they get when there’s a new Wordle puzzle available, or the ding announcing that they received a sext from an old classmate on Facebook messenger.”
According to the fine print on Apple’s website, Apple News- promises to “disable all news-related push notifications and completely block any mention of news from the Apple News app, websites, social media feeds, and text messages.” It further clarifies that “news” constitutes “anything that has happened or is happening, from your aunt getting in a fight with your mom to the US launching a full-scale war.” The service will even bleep out any mention of the news from phone conversations and censor news items out of any programming subscribers watch on their phones or iPads, promising you won’t have to worry about inadvertently learning a little bit of news at any point while using your devices.
Damn. This sounds like a real bargain, because we’d subscribe to this for twice the price!
There’s no doubt that Apple’s new news removal service is going to be a massive success, with the only question being why they didn’t offer something like this sooner. Showing users the news has been a problem with iPhones for quite some time, but at least Apple is finally stepping up and doing something about it. Thank God this is finally an option!
