One of the coolest ways to go viral is to force your grandpa to let you film him doing a trendy TikTok dance and then post it to widespread acclaim. Unfortunately, some videos are more successful than others, and sometimes your grandpa is just flat-out going to miss the mark. When that happens, it’s best to let him down easy. Here are five tips for breaking it your grandpa that the TikTok dance you forced him to do was neither impressively good enough nor charmingly bad enough to go viral.
1. Bake Him A Cake That Says “They Hated Your Movements”
It is impossible to be sad while you’re eating a cake or even in the same room as a cake, so when your grandpa’s bid for TikTok stardom blooms out rotten you can soften the blow by bringing him a cake that tells him the news. You can phrase the message however you want: “They Hated Your Movements” or “You Failed To Please” or “Your Dance Was Crap” will all do the job. Just say what’s in your heart.
2. Mail Him A Picture Of All His Friends Becoming Friends With Other People Instead
Bad news always feels like good news when you get it in the mail. If you want to let your grandpa know his unfortunate lack of both talent and charisma has produced the most mediocre TikTok dance video possible, just mail him a photograph of all his friends becoming friends with other people instead of with him. Your grandpa will see the picture and say, “I understand: Because of my bad dancing, my friends now consider time spent with me to be time spent in decay. This is devastating news, but at least I got it through the postal service.”
3. Make A Big-Budget Hollywood Movie Called “The Grandpa Who Failed”
One of the nicest things you can do for a person is make a huge blockbuster Hollywood movie about them. Write a movie about a grandpa who tries to make a TikTok dance video with the help of his incredible grandchildren, but instead makes a misery of himself. The heartbreaking tragedy of this movie is that the grandchildren only want one simple thing: to become fabulous electric gods by going viral online. Unfortunately, their grandpa lets them down in the only way that matters and his dance is worth nothing. When your grandpa sees the movie about how he wrenched up the gears of your dreams, he will nod and understand, and he won’t feel bad because at least you took the time to make a movie about it.
4. Launch Him Up
Using a cannon or your own simple boot, you can launch him up. Launching someone up is a simple and kind way to let them know that you’re disappointed in them. If you launch up your grandpa and he goes sailing into the sky, he will say, “I understand: my grandchildren have sent me hurtling into the far distance because of the unimpressive way I presented my body and its lackluster configurations. It was so kind of them to take the time and effort to launch me up.”
5. Lie To Him
Often, the greatest kindness you can do for a family member is lie to them so that they believe the world is one way when it is actually another. So if your grandpa’s TikTok dance failed with the numbers, you can just go to him and say, “Great news grandpa. The TikTok video I forced you to do is a huge hit. Everyone has seen it, including several celebrities and notable politicians and they all agree that it’s the only thing that has ever mattered. Everyone watched it so many times. Everyone watched it six times. You’re a TikTok star, grandpa and it’s all thanks to the grandchildren who forced you to do it.” And your grandpa will say, “Thanks.” And that’s the magic of lying.
