Some people take their sweet, sweet time to pay back money they owe you. In this economy, that behavior isn’t just annoying, it’s downright rude! That’s why it’s so incredible to see mobile payment services roll out an accountability-minded feature like this: Venmo’s newest feature will register users who ignore a friend’s payment for more than a week as sex offenders.
Absolutely brilliant. Friends who ‘conveniently’ don’t see your Venmo request for weeks on end are about to learn a big, big lesson about financial responsibility!
Announced in a press release today, Venmo’s new policy, meant to deter people from dragging out their response to a friend’s payment request, automatically registers users on the National Sex Offender Public Website for failing to repay a friend within seven business days. Regardless of the transaction’s size, whether it’s $5 or $1,000, ignoring a friend’s Venmo request for over a week will now result in the same level of social disgrace and loss of rights normally reserved for convicted sexual predators.
The request’s sender can issue friends a ‘Reminder’ that their life will be ruined if they don’t settle up soon, but once those seven days pass, the only Venmo transactions these users will be making are with their criminal pervert neighbors in the trailer park they’re forced to live in due to the limited housing options available to registered sex offenders.
“Paying back friends in a timely manner simply isn’t a priority for some of the lazier, more disrespectful Venmo users out there, but it’s about to be, if the threat of permanent social ruin is enough motivation for them,” wrote Eden Robbins, Venmo’s Director of Product Design, in the feature’s announcement.
“Venmo makes paying friends as simple as tapping a few buttons. The process is far too easy to prolong for over a week. Know what’s not easy? Rebuilding your life after winding up on a public sex offender registry. We advise all Venmo users to start paying friends back sooner than later, as we’re currently developing even harsher repercussions for people who take over a week to pay back amounts under $25, because drawing out your response to a request that reasonable, when you could just tap three buttons and move on, is petty in a way that necessitates an equally drawn out, violent response.”
Wow. Venmo is bringing back personal accountability in a huge way!
This is incredible peace of mind for anyone putting their card down when out with friends. Here’s to Venmo for leading with a stick and teaching its entire user base a valuable lesson about paying people back on a respectful timetable!
