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Ah, Shit: That Weird Guy You Went To High School With Just Broke His Neck In A Car Accident And Ripping On Him Was The Only Thread Still Holding Your Friend Group Together 

Staying in touch with old friends only seems to only get harder as we age, and unfortunately for you and your high school friends, it looks like it’s about to get much harder: That weird guy you went to high school with just broke his neck in a car accident and ripping on him was the only thread still holding your friend group together. 

Dammit. What the hell are you going to talk about now?

Since graduating high school in 2006, you and your formerly tight-knit crew of buddies have been gradually growing further and further apart. Your once annoyingly active group chat is now mostly silent, but there’s one thing that never fails to reignite the conversation: seeing Trent Pershing, the really weird guy from your high school, make weird posts on social media. Whether he’s posting selfies of himself in his goofy-ass homemade steampunk costumes, or typo-laden screeds about women never wanting to date the nice guys, or bafflingly religious Snoopy memes, everything he shares immediately gets screencapped and passed around your group chat.

But all of that is about to change, as, sadly, you just got news that Trent broke his neck in a terrible car accident, meaning you can no longer make fun of him because it’d be a dick move to make fun of a paralyzed person. When the news was announced to your group chat, it was followed by a chorus of “holy shit” and “fuck!” texts which could be taken as both concern for Trent and anger over no longer being able to rip on him, although probably more the latter, as what the hell are you all supposed to talk about now? Your careers? Having families? That’s just not gonna happen. Without your collective fascination over Trent, your friendship has nothing. 

Well, fuck. Looks like it’s the end of an era.

Though Trent is thankfully going to live, the sobering reality is that, without being able to rip on him in good conscience any longer, your high school friendships will likely die. In retrospect, maybe you’ve been a little hard on ol’ Trent over the years, but to be fair, 1) making fun of him brought you countless hours of joy and it was literally the only thing keeping you in touch with your old best friends, and 2) he’s a pretty goddamn weird dude. Hopefully you and your old friends are able to find something else to talk about, but let’s be honest, it’s probably not gonna happen.